Another Lesson

It has almost been 2 years since the Hubs lost his job.  Can't believe it, but it has.  As I look back, I see God's blessings, but I also have frustration, resentment and fear.  I started to feel sorry for myself.  He is on his second temporary job.  We are still without benefits of any kind.  And, I still feel like we're in storm after storm with no rainbow in site!

I've been playing the comparison game a lot.  If I'm honest, I'm coveting...ya know, one of those commandments listed in the Bible?!  Wishing for the car I can't have.  The clothes I want.  The vacation that's no where in our future.  The new paint I think I need for the house.  The emergency fund that seems will never be full.  Fearing if we can pay for the girls' school.  And, I find myself becoming angry with friends for what God's blessing them with.

As I sat in church a couple weeks ago stewing over something I read on facebook, I prayed that God would work in my heart.  That he'd help me again, to be content.  And, boy did he ever!

I watched a sweet momma hold her little girl in the seats far ahead of me.  Then I watched that same little girl walk over to her father and climb into his arms and it took all I had to not tear up.  That sweet girl has cancer.  Her beautiful bald head was covered in a sweet bow and she clutched a much loved on bunny.

God gave me perspective as he often does.  I know that momma would give all the things I'm coveting to have her daughter healed.  She'd freely give every last dollar to know her baby wouldn't have to go through another day of treatment.

There she was, worshiping God in the midst of the most incredible storm of her life.  She was teaching her children to love God with all they had no matter what the circumstances.

And then there was me.  Quietly stewing about a friend who had hurt my feelings.  Upset about things that didn't matter.  Feeling mad at God because we had weathered our storm for nearly a year and I didn't get the rainbow I had wanted.

None of this compared to what I was witnessing in front of me.

God sweetly whispered again that I had everything I needed.  I had him.  He had carried us through that storm and gave us the ability to testify to his faithfulness.  He would carry us through the next storm.  And no matter what the outcome, he would be all I need.  No car, clothes, friend, vacation, or emergency fund would ever bring as much true joy as God could.

I'm so thankful for the answer to prayer that morning.  The sweet whisper that could turn my day around and help me get through the week ahead.  And, most importantly, the ability to focus yet again on what truly matters in my life.  Him.