Trying to be Thankful

The last couple weeks have been quite busy.

I have to admit though, that I had a really hard time being thankful this thanksgiving. I had about 2 days where the tears just kept falling. I would be fine one minute and then crying the next.

I didn't want to travel to see my family. I didn't want to get out of bed. I didn't want to celebrate Thanksgiving or even think about Christmas.

I was overwhelmed with the fear of the unknown. Fear of wondering how much longer we could continue on unemployment. I began to wonder if God's plan is for us to lose our home. Whether I should put the girls back in school and find a job.

I didn't want to decorate for Christmas because I knew that we wouldn't be buying much.

I guess you could say that I was having another pity party. Never did I imagine that we'd be on week nine of unemployment, round three.

Then God gave me a reason to be thankful.  Well, several actually.

We were asked to pray for an 11 year old girl that was just diagnosed with bone cancer. A girl Chloe has met. Then a local pastor was tragically killed leaving behind a wife and 3 small kids the day before Thanksgiving.

I was reminded...again...that my girls are healthy today. My husband is here by my side loving me more today than ever before.  We have an army praying for us.

We have an amazing life. Our problems are so meaningless in comparison.

As I go into this Christmas season, I'm trying to focus on these things. Instead of the petty things I can't buy, I'm trying to focus on what it's all about. Jesus.

When everything is taken away, that's all that matters.

I know that I will still have moments of sadness. Moments where I'm fearful of what God's plan is.

But I can be sure that my God is one of grace and mercy. And he will graciously remind me again of what truly matters.